12:51 22 February 2011 - In memory

It was 12:50pm and I remember looking at my watch thinking the queue for lunch had been quite quick.  One minute later, as I went to pull out my seat in our staff cafeteria a rumbling noise came, the power went out and the ground underneath me lurched.  I didn't know whether to crouch, stand... there was no room under the small table.  I looked over to see our large fridge wobbling back and forth at nearly 90 degree angles, knowing someone was sitting directly in front of it.

The Blessed Sacrament Cathedral - post quake

That moment is etched in my memory.  It's the moment my life, and those of the 420,000-ish citizens of Christchurch, changed forever.

Others, have worse memories of that moment the ground erupted.  Mine are quite calm and non-destructive... the memories of the next two-three hours aftermath are far far worse.  I will never forget the faces around me, distraught and terrified.  I won't forget seeing bodies under bricks as we evacuated and I won't forget screaming an obscenity at a press photographer for taking photographs of a badly injured man (then turning around and seeing my Managing Director was standing right behind me!).

Two years later.... and I looked at my watch at 12.50pm as I stood amongst others, ready to observe a minute's silence in memory, I looked around me.  I didn't think the memories would still feel this raw.  But they are.  I hate to think how those that lost loved ones felt.

So at the same time as I stood in memory of those lost, I also stood in thanks.  Thanks that I was one of the lucky ones.  Thanks that I didn't know the names on the list of 185.  I knew people who knew people, but I had the reprieve from being hurt so directly.

I was lucky that I was in one of the safest buildings in Cashel Mall, when normally if I buy lunch I venture out ...    Something (my guardian angels?) made me choose the easy alternative that day and stay indoors.  I was lucky that I had people help me home and that when I got home to a mess in my house, it was just a mess and it wasn't too broken.  I was lucky that I got power back within 24 hours.  I was lucky that strangers gave me a car to use for a month when mine was stuck in the red zone.  I was thankful for being one lucky gal.  I was lucky I worked for who I work for and was kept in a job.

I have so much to be thankful for. The earthquakes have reinforced the fact that I have the most amazing family and friends, rallying around.    I already knew that I was resillient, and I am thankful for parents that encouraged me to be so, but this was a real test.  I think I've come through it.

This blog comes out of the earthquake.  After the aftershocks on 23 Dec 2011, I went into a black fugue - it was one aftershock too many and after "Being Strong" for 9 months, I had enough!  But I hated that blackness, so my challenge to take "a photo a day" was an attempt to push me out of it.  It worked in many ways.  Yes I documented broken buildings, but I documented change and improvements and ordinary life too.  This city will re-build.

So as 12:51 ticked over, today 22 February 2013, two years on, I remembered, I offered up a prayer and I gave thanks.

Eternal Rest Grant to Them O Lord.  May they Rest In Peace.